Perch

honestly

How it sits next to the alternatives.

Perch is not the right answer for every desk, and pages like this are usually written as though it were. Each of these leads with the case for the other one. If you want months on a battery, or a mirror, or somebody else to run the service, the honest recommendation is on the page and it is not Perch.

The one thing none of them do: a button you press to talk to whatever AI you already own, including a model running on the Pi itself with nothing leaving the house. That part is here.